Before I became the accepting, confident and wise woman I am today, I was plagued with self criticism and was in total resistance of the aging process. Once I turned 30, my body started to change and my hair started thinning and breaking. I even had to suffer through acne for the first time in my life as an adult. Initially, I had a difficult time dealing with the effects of aging - the fine lines and wrinkles, melasma after egg freezing, minor loss of volume in the face, difficulty rebounding from hangovers, stubborn weight gain, chronic back pain, hair damage from the years of heat styling and coloring, and more. Think about it for a minute…what have the effects of aging been on YOU?

Moreover, how has it impacted your life? For me, there was a period of time where I stopped getting in pictures and avoided looking in the mirror because I didn’t exactly like the person staring back at me. I was hard on myself and would have meltdowns getting ready for work in the morning because my clothes no longer fit and I grew frustrated with my body. I tried expensive skincare treatments to reduce fine lines and wrinkles, most of the time with minimal results. At times, I pushed my body too hard with HIIT workouts and overexercise, expecting to get back to the weight I was when I felt my best. Instead, however, I experienced difficult muscle recovery, fatigue, and weight gain instead of loss.

Emotionally, I felt…DISAPPOINTED. Disappointed that I no longer looked like my 20-year old self - who, by the way, also wasn’t happy with herself - and disappointed that the diets and exercises that used to work, no longer did. As I neared the age of 40, I was hyper aware of my dread of aging and wanted to make a change to my mindset and behaviors that aligned more closely with the healthier lifestyle I was leading.

Ultimately, it wasn’t until I let go of the anger and disappointment and learned to be kinder to myself and my body that I could truly begin to honor the sacred act of aging with grace.  

If your dread of aging and the effects of the aging process have you feeling down, here is my proposal for you —> What IF instead of fighting against aging, you chose to embrace it? After all, the alternative to aging is death. And who doesn’t want to live a full and happy life?

With that in mind, here are Four Ways You Can Honor the Aging Process.

1. Sit with the difficult feelings you have about aging

   How do you feel when you think about getting another year older? Disappointed? Angry? Lost? It’s normal to feeling a loss over the aging process and as with any loss, you should allow yourself the space to properly grieve. Grieve the things you’re body could once do…grieve the changes to your skin…grieve your youth. Practice sitting with your difficult feelings and allowing them to flow freely through you.

   According to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there's a 90-second chemical process that happens; any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.” Ultimately, what this means is that ninety seconds is all it takes to identify an emotion and allow it to dissipate while you simply allow it to flow through you. Alternatively, many Eastern healing modalities are rooted in the knowledge that holding on to difficult emotions and negative thought patterns can create energetic blockages along our meridian points. These blockages, if not released, can eventually manifest as physical pain and illness. Learning to release difficult emotions and thought patterns is not only part of honoring the aging process, but it’s also an important factor in optimizing your overall health and happiness.

2. Focus on the things within your control

   While there are certainly ways you can limit the signs of aging, there’s not a whole lot you can do to stop the aging process altogether. At some point you have to stop fighting the things you can’t control. Trying to stop the aging process will only create continual disappointment and unnecessary suffering for yourself.

   Instead, focus on the things within your control like you’re thoughts, your attitude, the foods you consume, the way you treat your body, and the people and energy you surround yourself with. For starters, think about all of the things that your body CAN do rather than what it can no longer do. You can’t force it to do what it once did or to look how it once looked…but you CAN change with it and reach new, more attainable health goals. Remember to be gentle with yourself and to listen to your body’s signals so that you can care for it in a way that works for you right now.

3. Practice Kindness and be gentle with the body that you have

   Most of the conversations you have are with yourself, so be kind. Practice eating, moving, speaking and acting like you love yourself. Honor the wisdom that comes with your wrinkles and grey hairs. Stop punishing your body for performing it’s job. Instead, be soft.

   Find ways to be gentle with the body you have. This can look like focusing on ways to improve your recovery after a workout, or looking for forms of exercise that are easier on the body like yoga or walking. It can look like a compassionate smile in the mirror and choosing to highlight one thing you love about yourself rather than picking apart the things you don’t like. It might even look like more rest and relaxation if you’re feeling burned out. Making it a regular practice to be kind to yourself is how you honor the natural flow of life.

4. Embrace your perceived imperfections and show up anyway

   To be imperfect is to be human. Do not allow your perceived imperfections or the effects of aging to stop you from living a full life. As Brene Brown once said, “Vulnerability is hard and it’s scary and it feels dangerous. But it’s not as hard, or scary or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves: What if I would’ve shown up?”

   It is vulnerable to age gracefully in a society where a youthful appearance is held in such high regard. Don’t allow your fear of aging to keep you from showing up. Practice embracing your imperfections with love, and celebrate all that you are and all that you do have. Those are your gifts and blessings.

   Accepting yourself at every new stage is a journey, not a destination. Integrate a practice of self acknowledgement and celebration into your regular routine to honor yourself and the aging process.

As you navigate your own journey toward embracing the changes that come with aging, you may also have a desire to learn about healthier lifestyle solutions that can help you reach your evolving health and wellness goals. Schedule a Complementary Wellness Consultation to learn how I can help.